Tag Archives: gluten free

Oh CRAP! And Other Signs of Age Progression

7 Nov

It has been a while since my last post.  And though I had given a slight clue, in my last writing, as to what I would be writing in this current (or next) post, I have, “Rivka style”, changed direction.  I say, Rivka style, because I have found that the one constant about my direction is that it is always changing.  For instance, my good friend and I travel to Santa Catalina Island once a year for a girls getaway.  This past weekend marked our 14th or 15th year of wreaking havoc on the sleepy town of Avalon.  And as has been our custom, every year prior, we share a barbeque chicken pizza along with a dinner salad for one of our meals together.  However, this year as she excitedly sat at our familiar table ready to order our “specialty”, I spilled the truth.  “Uhm, Candice, I have a confession to make…I don’t like barbecue sauce anymore.”  Now in years past she would give me a good ribbing about it, but this year she resigned to what she has come to know to be true, “Rivka is always changing her mind!”

Yes, folks, I am.  And though I would like to write about the adventure of finding the San Diego Velodrome, it will have to wait; because I have changed my mind.  I have changed partially due to the fact I have been dealing with migraine headaches again.  And the headaches affect my ability to work at the computer because I am a slow writer, as well as, a slow reader.  And the pain is quite intense, and the intensity grows the longer I stare at the screen.

Though I previously had connected gluten as the cause of my head irritation, I have since discovered it is not the case.  Yeast and sugar, perhaps, though I am not wholly convinced (due to my own elimination diets of the past) that the cause is of MY doing.  Truth be told, I have recently shared with Brian that while I am under the ‘spell’ of pain, I am feeling as if G-d is punishing me for something.  I will tell you, confessions aside, that the only real connection I have found is a change in the weather.  It is true, when the seasons change I tend to have the darned things more often.  Yet I have enough insight into the ‘facts of life’ to know that the weather in and of itself cannot be the sole reason for my infliction.  I have considered that my maternal grandmother suffered, occasionally, from migraines and my daughter does as well.  Did I hear the call of “Genetics”?  Blah Blah Blah…what a boring subject!  I have been having migraines so long now that I am absolutely tired of them as a subject matter!

So let me leave you with the instance of how I came to my title.  For some reason I received, in the mail, a holiday toy catalog.  I do believe it was either for Toys R Us, or Target.  Anyway, as I was perusing through the high gloss, and vibrantly colored pages, I couldn’t help but wonder at the types of toys offered to the wee ones of today.  Monster dolls called, Bratzillas and some other name I have now forgot.  Fairies called, “Good vs. Evil Fairies”.  Party Girls dolls, or in other words (mine in fact), super skinny dolls with multicolored hair and loads of makeup on the face.  A family game which involved handcuffs, and a game which seemed to award the art of lying.  And as I sat there, jaw dropped open and mind in wonderment at why these types of toys are sought after, it hit me, “Oh Crap, I am getting old!”  No it isn’t so much my age in number that is showing signs of the natural progression (according my family lineage I will hit middle age in another 15 to 20 years), it is the sign that I am losing touch with that which sparks the fire of the, younger-than-me, young.  Oiy Vay!

Yes folks, I have been away from the computer for a couple of weeks now and with my quick appearance I leave you this tidbit morsel of nothing…sweet as it may be, it is still nothing.  But tomorrow brings a new attempt at fighting the beast of my head (and eyes) and with my new approach, I am hopeful to have the physical ability, once again, to write in a manner more connected to that which I wish to say…without the pressure of pain sitting in the director’s seat.  Crossing my fingers and such.

Adieu

Do You Know The Muffin Man?

9 Oct

…who lives on Drury Lane.  I have never been to Drury Lane, have you?  Perhaps it is a fantastical locale where muffins abound.  I envision muffins in place of blooms, in the trees, and in shrubbery.  I also picture, in my mind, muffins shooting from one house to another forming an arc over the road which is paved and runs in between the homes.  A muffin arc.  And the little moist cakes never touch the ground.  They are in a suspension of dancing between houses until a person captures one…and ingests it with glee.  To answer the question, “No, I do not know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane.  Though I anticipate our introduction, as well as, the sampling of his work.”  😉

I will now proceed to singe a few of my personal loose ends.  These are updates to the challenges, implementations, and/or circumstances which have made my past blog posts, and which, for reasons wholly devoted to my own quiet notions, are being seen out to completion here in Bentrivka world.  I will then be able to move on from the thoughts, as they barrage my mind while I bathe, yet just as quickly leave the cranial region thus leaving the “loose ends” still moving about aimlessly.

…hold on to your seats, for we are going to burn through this at rapid speed!

  • I am no longer “gluten free”.  I have returned to the protein, and the clandestine grains, which supply it.  I have discovered that my migraine headaches are not triggered by gluten, and are more likely exacerbated by yeast and sugar.  And though I will not refrain, wholeheartedly, from either of those two additives, I will be mindful not to overeat them in succession (as I did last December when I went on a cinnamon roll, daily diet–and paid for it unmercifully with a 30 day migraine in January.  Yes, it was 30 days–minimum!).
  • My son is still suffering, physically, in the gut region.  We are still pursuing different avenues of healthcare to try to find a consistent solution for him.  He is better than he was this past spring/summer, however, he is still requiring the pain meds to be on hand.  Which for him, who has a high pain threshold, is very telling.
  • Brian and Cole are making significant strides in their relationship.  They seem to really be on a new path, one which is wrought with acceptance, forgiveness, and love.  Yay!! 🙂
  • We were able to get an extension (after much extensive stress), on Brian’s unemployment benefit.  As he continues to submit résumé’s, and continues to invest his time in launching a new clothing brand (www.u50.com), our family is gratefully being carried by a little ‘unemployment insurance’.
  • I am currently not actively submitting résumé’s on my behalf.
  • The art of sailing took a bit of a hiatus these past two months.  Though with the cooling of the weather and Cole and his father being more in synch, the call of the sea just might be answered more readily than before.

Well I think that covers my ‘musings while bathing’.  I have a feeling there are more loose ends out there, but unfortunately they are lost in the cavalcade of thoughts running around in my mind.  Perhaps in another month, or so, I will tire of them visiting me in the privacy of my shower.  At which time I will unravel them here, and singe their little tails off so they can no longer be accounted for within my world.  Whoo hoo…one more item checked off of the “to do”!!  And several more waiting to take their place.

“The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!” — a plaque on the wall in the home of my Gramma Ella

 

Choosing My Stride

5 Jul

I had thoughts of writing a post about where I stand in the gluten-free diet regimen; the migraines, and how my junk science is panning out.  In fact, in the past week, I have concluded almost daily to write a new post with regard to the dietary subject–to no avail.  Yet, I ask myself (and you as well), how can I write a post on what now seems a frivolous subject when I have had heavier pressing matters before me?  I mean really, it doesn’t make sense to take to the black keys and formulate an anecdotal strategy for myself and share it with all of you when I have the effects of domestic violence present in my immediate path along with the continued health trauma of my son.

No, the glutton of the gluten must be cast aside.

My son?  Well, we meet with a specialist tomorrow who will hopefully initiate the diagnostic process to put him on his way to a better quality of life, within his newly disabled quality he is presently entertaining.  More to come on that as it pans out.

The domestic violence scenario?  A sad, and unfortunately, not so unfamiliar tale.  There are many a woman who have endured the tumult brought forth from the psychological and physical effects of brutalization within the home.  Not to mention the children who bear witness to, as well as endure, the cycle.    From my observation, if a woman (and offspring) can get out of the situation early on, she (and them) have a much greater chance of breaking the pattern and developing a healthy relational perspective.  The longer the lady is in the bloody mess, the deeper the damage–to all parties–and passing the sickness onto the heirs becomes more probable than had the violent interaction been eradicated within the formative years of the relationship.  And believe me, verbal bullying equates to violence; so let it be written that verbal and physical abuse share similar platforms of destruction.  I have been witness to this truth and will not back down on the statement.

So how can I come to my blog with tidbits about wheat when I have just left the office of a high profile criminal attorney who was referred to me through a connection from my friend, Tanya Brown (younger sister of Nicole Simpson)?  I mean who cares about grains when a childhood friend, and her children, have been subject to such despicable acts of violence that now, in despair, are requiring legal representation due to false allegations from their perpetrator.  …a story Tanya and the Brown family know too well and again, unfortunately, so does the criminal “justice” system.  To answer the questions (rhetorical though they may be), I can’t.  I can’t talk about my dietary functions or dysfunctions when there are these types of subjects crossing my path.

And because this circumstance is not new to my life, I have had the opportunity to become acquainted with the organization, Human Options (as you can see on my home page).  Human Options does a very good job of taking the women (and children) into their safe house, protecting them, educating them, nurturing their bodies and souls, and advocating for healthy change within each life that steps over their threshold.  Their success statistics are compelling–90% of their “clients” never return to a violent situation.  Within the world of altruistic organizations, theirs is a statistic worthy of praise.  In other words, they are doing something right.  And yet the hardest task is getting the adult victim to risk a better life by giving up the comfort of brutality.  Make no mistake, the perversity of the previous sentence was intended because it showcases the “skewed perspective” which ensues the cycle of violence within the home.

My friend’s husband came from a home where his childhood was riddled with severity, or cruelty.  He knows only one way; his inheritance is being passed on.   If only she would have taken the risk for life sooner…if only.  Yet even for her, it is not too late, though I worry for her stability.  She has drunk the poison for so long now that the sickness has infiltrated her mind and her judgement is marred.  Her idealism is now her foe, and she needs help.  Though her circle of support is dwindling down to those of us who stand behind our vow of friendship, support she does have.  We are few, but we are mighty!

So here is where I ask, “Am I choosing my stride, or is it choosing me?!”  To answer, I think I will go and eat a gluten enriched bagel, an onion flavored one fresh from Western Bagel in Los Angeles (thanks Aunt Susie).  And in the meantime, please take a few moments to watch the attached video.  Let’s not let another “if only” slip on by.

%d bloggers like this: