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just Making It

17 Apr

We are home and southern Cal weather is good medicine for the weary.  The reason for my title?  Because we are just making it by the hair of our chinny, chin, chin…

Sometimes, in life, I feel (to coin a phrase from the movie The Outsiders), “Golden”.  Then there are other times.  Today, and yesterday, and the day before that (which would be Saturday), I feel I am “just making it”.  And by just making it, I mean I am pushing myself to get things done that need my attention, but am struggling with even that.  I am moving my body forward, whether it is paying a bill, following up a telephone call on behalf of our family, or responding to the many emails I have that require a response.  But all the while my brain and body want to crawl back into my cozy bed and pretend I have no-one, nor no-thing requiring my attention.  And when I say that, I am pointing the finger in my own direction as well.  For even my own need for food, drink, and bathroom is an annoyance to my ‘just making it’ condition!

The above paragraph was written by me yesterday.  Today I have discovered the culprit to my debilitating exhaustion of which I previously wrote.  In an effort to medicinally treat a self diagnosed rhinitis condition, I used a nasal spray that was given to me by who knows who, and who can even remember when!  This morning I took a closer look at the sealed pamphlet which was lurking inside the box only to discover the prevalent side effect listed (of any consequence) is, “tends to cause somnolence”.  Now I had the general idea that that particular word had roots in the drowsiness category and to confirm my suspicions, I looked it up in my handy dandy dictionary (the one I stole from my high school library back in 1985; and which I attempted to return in 1994 only to learn it was no longer the type of dictionary the library wanted to house, thereby absolving me of my adolescent crime.  Thus it has finally become legitimate in my care–at least I legitimately use it!).  Yep, my weariness was brought forth through the use of an uneducated attempt to self medicate an undiagnosed condition.  Sounds smart…good thing I’m not writing a medical advice blog because I just might also try to sell you a remedy/diagnosis from Better Homes and Gardens which for some reason was gifted to me by an anonymous source and happened to be the catalyst to my perusal of medicine cabinet options.  Go figure, I sit down to use the john and find, through intensive study and research of course, via BHG, that I am the sufferer of “hormonally onset spontaneous rhinitis”.  Whatever that means.  That was my mal-interpretation!  For I’m sure their article was presented in a manner which pointed the reader to “review the options with your allergy specialist”.  But hey, that takes too much of my time.  So I grabbed my ailment and treated it with with all the enthusiasm of a toddler and the first bite of his or her birthday cake…full steam ahead!  I know, not too clever.  Next time I’ll be sure to consult US Weekly or People magazine before medicating my new found disease.  HA!

Anyway, Cole, Piper, and I actually left San Jose on Friday afternoon and made it home in 6 and one half hours–with snow and rain on the grapevine.  The traffic conditions were optimal and the general flow of traffic was at a rate of about 90miles/hr (though I did slow down in the blizzard). 🙂

And even though Cole did not receive his magic wand effect of the returned smile he was hoping (and we were praying) for, I can tell you his balance is greatly improved and his face does seem more taught.  Which in the realm of muscular dysfunction, taught is an improvement from atrophy.  We do agree, however, that two weeks in a row is too much.  His head is welted and the inside of his mouth swollen.  He is exhausted from hotel living and lack of sleep along with the therapy.  So while he won’t be rushing any time soon to again return to such a stringent therapeutic regimen, I’m sure he will return to the clinic for a maximum of 4 consecutive days in the near future.

And now his challenge is to continue the course of exercise and muscular manipulation prescribed by the doctors; while my challenge is to stay focused on the positives of life.  And that, my friends, can be quite challenging indeed.  Especially when seeing my son discouraged, disabled, and dependent is a heartbreak I carry daily.  YET, I feel it more of a burden to “see the cup half full” when I have fallen prey to the side effects of prescription strength, though non-prescribed, nasal spray.  Thus I avow to lay off the sniffer and to again attempt an attitude of thanksgiving.  Because ‘just making it’ doesn’t really feel so good, and is definitely NOT where I wish to reside.  No more rhinitis for me, but the hormonally challenged part of the equation will most definitely have to stay.

Psalm 94:19
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,Your comforts delight my soul.

Bird Flew

2 Apr

I am currently in northern California.  San Jose to be exact.  I drove my son, Cole and his dog, Piper, up from southern Cal, yesterday.  It should have been a six hour drive, but due to an incinerated vehicle in Los Angeles and heavy traffic all the way through, we made it up here in seven and one half hours.

Let me tell you, I am tired today!

We are again up here so Cole can receive the neurological acupuncture treatments from Dr.’s Zhu and Moyee.  The plan is for treatments every day, except Sundays, for the next two weeks.  I will fly home for this upcoming weekend and fly back on Monday.  In my absence, my brother in law is taking charge.  For you new readers to this blog, my son’s face is paralyzed, his balance altered, and he lacks full ocular function.

Anyway, today I took him to his appointment at 11:30a.m.  I then took Piper to an, almost always, empty dog park.  When I reunited with Cole an hour later, he could move the upper portion of his nose…bilaterally!  It is just incredible and almost unbelievable…even when I’m first hand witness to it.  We then took a break for lunch back at our hotel room.  And while Cole finished his bento-box, Piper and I went down to the outdoor pool and jacuzzi area.  Both of which are enclosed by a gate so I was able to take her off leash while I dipped my feet in the warmth of the jacuzzi and made a few phone calls.

The reasons I am so wiped out today is one, I was up working past midnight the night before we left.  Two, I drove all the day in traffic yesterday.  Three, last night I had crashing-the-car-nightmares which kept waking me with a jolt.  Four, I had a dog on my bed the whole night.  Five, I’m wrangling our luggage, my purse, the car and hotel doors, my son, his dog, my beverage, and the hotel room/door key.  Shoot, that last one is enough to make me tired all by itself.  I’ve decided I need to hire a “Rivka Wrangler”.  Anyone looking for a job?  I pay with “please and thank you!” 🙂

Well we finished up at the clinic today at 4p.m.  Actually, Cole called it quits…his threshold had been met.  So with us both being so tired I knew I needed to let Piper have one more go round on the enclosed courtyard grass before heading up to our room (where I hoped to land for a while).  But as my life would have it, my full-proof, proactive planning, backfired.  Piper spied a cute bird couple “twitterpating”… and then all of a sudden, BAM!! …one was in her mouth.  She then paraded her kill while the other widowed avian spouse flew around quite disgruntled.

So here I was, just a few minutes ago, first day in our hotel and my son’s dog hunts, kills, parades, and then proceeds to eat one of the little birdies that lives here.  I don’t even know what to say…  After I once again wrangled Piper back onto her leash (after her first victory she was ready for round two, three, who knows probably four and five), we returned to Cole in our room and I told him what had happened.  He asked, “Did anybody see?”   “Heck if I know,” was my reply–because I nabbed Piper as fast as I could and pretty much ran back to our room.

I called Brian and told him.  I also mentioned, “I am not much for ‘animal kingdom’.  I don’t even know what or how to handle a bird eating dog!”  To which he replied, “Me neither.”


p.s. Still no migraine, even with lack of sleep, a stressful drive, a son, and a bird dog!

Beauty AND the Beast!

Acupuncture–take II & III

10 Jan

How is it I can sleep with needles inserted into my skin?  This is stuff of gross spy/conspiracy type movies…or so I thought!  I mean you should see me…lying on my side, needles from feet to neck (to hands and fingers), holding jars, and completely relaxed.  In fact, on Saturday I woke up midway through–and fell back to sleep.  “Wowwie Zowwie”, is all I can say.  Then yesterday I had another treatment (it was scheduled for Cole and mine was scheduled for today, but he asked if we could flip flop, so I was back there yesterday).  Guess who also came along to meet our newest favorite doctor?  …little Esther Rose.  Let me assure you, though she is small in size, she is one self assured power house of a focused girl.  Because I took on Cole’s treatment appointment, Esther met with Dr. Li (for the first time) by herself.  Esther is also afflicted with migraine’s and other hormonally induced irritants, and this past year we had met with 3 female pediatricians who left Esther feeling like a inconsequential element in her own health.  Their advice to her was narrow minded and condescending, so she took up my offer to meet with Dr. Li.

I will tell you how I know Esther is completely capable of handling herself, when Dr. Li came in to take out my needles, she exclaimed with much excitement and hand gestures, “Your daughter is amazing.  She is so adorable, so focused.  She knows so well her life and direction.  My son is 17 and he hardly knows anything.  I am so impressed with her, I just love her.”  Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dr. Li…get in line!  Esther has had that effect on people since she was a wee babe in arms.  No Joke!  Esther is also a huge baby when it comes to pain.  She only just this past fall had the courage to get her ears pierced.  She was so afraid of the pain, it took her a very long time to get the courage to go through with the piercing.  Which is why when she said she was actually going to go through with, I didn’t believe her and passed her off to my sister.  If you know my sister, you follow through.  Period.

Well Esther felt so confident with Dr. Li, and so included in the “plan of action” for her health, that she scheduled her own appointment for acupuncture for today.  So this afternoon, Esther will take her brother and they both will have treatments at the same time.  …glad I’m not going to be there!

I will tell you that I have been dealing with a migraine (the same one from last week) trying to take over my life.  Now I can’t tell you that one treatment with Dr. Li has been like “magic”.  But I can tell you that I am experiencing a change.  In the past, with a hard hitting, aggressive headache like this one has been, I would not have had as much relief as I am currently experiencing.  In all actuality I have only dealt with debilitating pain and vision difficulties twice in the past 8 days.  Migraine sufferers will understand the significance of that news…those of you who are blessed to be headache or migraine free will just have to take my word for it.  Good changes are happening, and I cling to the hope that she will help me become a non-sufferer of head pain.

And to keep my life ever exciting, as the good Lord likes to do, as a result of Brian (my husband) being laid off we are rolling ever faster in our treatments because our insurance benefits will likely end come February 1st.  Dr. Li is in the “know”, thus the three of us musketeers are on an accelerated treatment plan—which simply means, we are getting as many and as much done now as we possibly can.

I suppose if we begin to resemble Rain-bird sprinklers, while drinking water, we will know it is time to stop.  In the meantime, it is full speed ahead.

P.s. Sorry I’ve got to go without proof reading…catch my errors if you can. 😉

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