A Sleepless Night

2 Aug

In my grief…

I do not want to become someone I would not want to meet.
Though the shoes I wear now, are too big for my feet.
Trepidation ensues more often than not, as the girl in the mirror reflects the distraught.
The edge now seems nearer while calm lives at bay.
Rest for the soul is not mine…
At least not for today.
“To have a friend, you must be a friend,” a motto of mine.
Spoon fed to my children, yet I, myself, am behind.
The joy in the living right now is slightly snuffed out, as my daily commute passes right by his house.
A strange place indeed, I feel overwhelmed.
These shoes are too big.
Ambulate!
But how?
More sleep do I need? It is only 3:30.
Though the A in the M, I admit, is a bit early.
So much I want, more capable cause.
But these shoes now too big, hinder my paws.
Thoughts are much scattered.  Life’s chores piling high.
Move on now I must, though I don’t want to.
Not I.
I don’t want to become someone I would not want to meet.
Yet in these shoes I wear now, I am quite incomplete.
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10 Responses to “A Sleepless Night”

  1. Jerome August 3, 2013 at 12:06 am #

    In time, each of us will experience that dagger.
    To challenge grief like no other.
    The gift of life is never more or less.
    Either days or years are merely moments.
    Reverence remains the source of bliss.
    More memories do not increase remembrance.
    If death must early come, then let it be
    Nor more nor less than if it had come late:
    A part of a much larger unknown,
    Leaving wind and wisdom in its wake.
    Longing is the music of our sphere,
    Yearning for a time past time and space
    In which all that we love is ever here.
    As we move from day to night, it is
    Love everlasting, which is now our grace.

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 3, 2013 at 7:33 pm #

      Good to hear your poetic voice, Jerome. I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you are. Sorry to say I currently don’t have much energy for reaching out, but know you’re in my thoughts.

  2. Adrienne Mannis August 2, 2013 at 9:07 pm #

    Just try to put one big shoe in front of the other!! Let love and friendship help you along your way – words cannot express all the love that is sent your way….

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 3, 2013 at 7:35 pm #

      Thank you, Momma A. It was nice having Halle here, though she had the unfortunate experience of coming at a time of hectic chaos. But I think we were able to get a few good moments in. 🙂

      Love you back.

  3. Brad August 2, 2013 at 9:07 pm #

    Still praying for you! God still has answers that I don’t.

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 3, 2013 at 7:36 pm #

      Thanks for the love and prayers, Brad. I have been thinking about you and Michelle lots. My heart is with you, though you might not know it.

  4. Michelle Morgan August 2, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

    Wow, that was SO well worded and written!! Wow. That’s pretty much all I can say…wow.

    I am so much amazed, at your talent and skill…For poetry is not what I can bust out at will. But I read what you write, from the heart, it’s so real. And it makes me want to try and pray for the zeal. and attempt to put forth the same message of life, and its struggles and hurt, when so full of strife. I love you dear friend, and your openness from the heart. I only hope that mere distance, won’t keep our lives apart : )

    That was a first. I really never even try to be expressive in type….I guess you bring it out in me. Hope to see you somehow tomorrow.

    M

    Sent from my iPhone

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 3, 2013 at 7:46 pm #

      So very impressed with your poetic sentiments. Thank you, you bless me!

  5. Kim Juniper August 2, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    I love you….. you make too much sense to me, it’s scary! Hope you get some rest this weekend and remember the sense of feeling “overwhelmed” does pass, and you are quite capable….maybe just feeling incomplete and insecure in the moment…. this too shall pass….

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 3, 2013 at 7:50 pm #

      You actually speak the wisdom of my grandmother. It’s as if she wrote you a letter from Heaven and asked you to give it to me. Thank you, Kim. xoxo

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