Spark Notes

10 Aug

Today’s title, ‘Spark Notes’, has been patiently awaiting my attention while in the holding cell of my “drafts” folder.  In fact, my opportunity and drive to write, this week, has been somewhat prolific.  And I say, “take it while I can get it,” because I expect next week to have to linger on the tails of my past three postings (this one included).  I have even had time this week to peruse a few blogs I have been introduced to over the past year.  I feel much accomplished, as far as having invested in a few writings and readings that give me a little spark.  AAAhhhh, my segue into the title at hand.  What is your spark?  What is mine?

Now obviously I cannot answer the question for you.  But I can share a bit of the sparks in my life, and in that, in the lives of my nuclear family.

For me, dyed black hair is a pleasure I enjoy.  And if I encounter true, naturally black hair, elation wells up within me.  I began dying my hair black back in high school.  My then boyfriend (who happens to now be my husband) and I bought a bottle of some sort of “cover the gray” black rinse and we applied it, each to the other, without the use of protective gloves (uh oh, in the category of teenagers this could sound like a covert innuendo–I promise it is not).  And because we used our skin exposed hands for the job, we consequently went through the next month with the evidence not only imprinted onto each of our strands of hair, but also emanating from every skin pore on the palm of our hands.  The box said, “washes out with several shampoo’s,” and though our hands recovered after a months time, my long tresses did not.  In fact two years after the occasion, on my wedding day, my long hair was sporting a half and half d00…the top half naturally brown and the bottom half unnaturally black.  My husband, on the other hand, had shaved his hair off long before our betrothal.  Now in between that time and now I have experimented with reds and blondes and blacks.  I like the reds though I don’t like them with my skin tone.  Blonde, I am just not.  So black it is for me.  And though it began as a love affair with the color, it has sadly become my battle cry against father time and his minions in white.

The Black Bottle

Naturally, unnaturally beautiful!

I realize that sharing hair dye as one of my “sparks” is a little weak…at face value.  But truly my greatest spark comes from humor.  Humor in all things, aging included.  And in consideration of the humorous undertone of the black bottle bit, you can better understand my spark.  I am also fueled by that which fuels my husband and children.  I find their happiness to simultaneously fill my cup (this is a very weird sentence structure–any help on it, if it indeed is incorrectly written, is most appreciated).

Thus I will indulge my fancy further by writing about the newest spark in the Bent clan…

A sailboat.  Yep, a 25ft fiberglass hull vessel.  My husband and son have ventured into this purchase together (one has the money and the other has the brawn–read my past post to guess which is which); and it is through their adventurous spirit the rest of us (my daughter Esther, and I) become sailors.

As most of the readers of this blog know, Cole has suffered a very significant loss in his quality of life.  He was a strapping and strong young United States Marine, prior to having his brain tumor removed.  And now he is dependent upon others due to the physical impairments which are his.  Result of cranial nerve damage from having a growth on his brain stem removed (death was the alternate option).  In all reality, we are so very fortunate to have him alive and in as good of shape as he is in.  We know that, but he doesn’t.  He struggles so much–every day.  Every night.  And so becoming an owner of a boat, alongside his dad, is a step in the right direction.  The hope is that there will be a piece of flint lurking about his new adventures…it will find its way to the concrete of his soul and scrape against it.   And when it does, I pray it will create a spark which will turn into a roaring fire.  A fire within my son’s being that will give him back purpose, feeling, and desire.  I do believe G-d can do this with a little 25 foot sailboat.  I just don’t know when.

Brian and Cole

Gilligan and the Skipper

Cole catching a fish

Fishing off the stern

Yet in the meantime the four of us are enjoying the open seas, the calm of the harbor, and each other…at least we are making every effort in this direction (I am prone to seasickness of all things).  We have yet to spend the night on her, but these warm summer nights are like a siren’s call.  I’m sure it won’t be long before we yield.

Esther at the bow

Ahoy Matey! Esther catching some sea air

My last two posts (‘Shut the Hell Up!’ and ‘Betwixt, Bothered, and Be-Whining‘) came fiercely and quickly as the intervention of my cathartic pen was needed for the health of my psyche.  But this post, this patiently awaiting its time, post…this is my spark note.  Please feel free to share yours.

Brian the Skipper, Cole as Gilligan

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure….

13 Responses to “Spark Notes”

  1. adventures August 12, 2012 at 8:27 am #

    After nursing everyone in my and my husband’s family back to life when cancer took his life, a deep depression engulfed me. I had been stolen from my children and family. It took over a year and a half to see that spark that lit up my sky once more. God was so gentle and merciful. 🙂 He knows us so well! Lately, I’ve fallen back into that darkness again. It’s amazing to me how God uses things and people to open our eyes and show us that life is worth living and that his perfect peace is all we need. Thank you dear Jullian, for God used your post in my life this morning to spark a flame again!

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 12, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

      Dearest Adventures,
      Did you mean for your comment to fall upon a blog posting from someone named, Jullian? I ask only because you mention that name in your comment of gratitude and I would be remiss to keep the blessing, and by so doing, deny it from its intended.

      But regardless of whether it is a little confusion of names or not, I thank you for visiting me here for my heart is full of love, compassion, empathy, and prayer for you and yours. I understand living in a period of darkness and hoping for joy to find its way back to my soul. The one thing you can “take to the bank” is this…G-d is faithful.

      • adventures August 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

        Oh my, I think I did post the wrong name. My apologies to you and “Jullian”. I am sorry! Thank you for your encouragement! You are a blessing!


  2. r + g August 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm #

    oh man… a sailboat for you 4…i just love you Rivka…rhonda + gai

  3. Brad August 11, 2012 at 5:05 am #

    The best “spark” occurs on those rare times when I have evidence so solid that only God could have authored it.
    There was a time where I lost my home church, was losing my job, lost contact with friends and family, and lost my wife ( now ex) because she wanted to go for a divorce. My home church was purchased, and all the members left. At new churches the members were most concerned with judging me as someone who was getting a divorce, even though I wasn’t the one trying to leave. My friends and familly could see my struggles with my previous marriage if I talked with them, so I pushed them away to protect my then wife from their biased-to-me input. My wife was leaving because she “was bored with me”, the marriage councliler said I need to find that “spark” in my own life before the marriage to make myself a little more interesting. I had been focused on her so much I lost my spark. The only spark I could remember before marriage was my passion for Hot Rods, but the money had been sunk into the marriage, so no Hot Rod could be pursued.
    Stopped at a red light on Ortega @ the 5 north on-ramp, my soul broke down. I literally could not move forward any more, even if the light turned green. My soul issued the most sincere prayer I have ever made, “What Now?”. At that moment I was distracted by the hot rod rumble of a hopped-up ’54 Chevy pickup, with the sign on it’s door filling the passenger side view window of my utilitarian mini-truck. It simply said “Hot Rod Church for Sinners, Santora’s , 9;30-10:30”. It was enough to get back into life.
    God doesn’t usually answer prayers quickly, or so it seems because I don’t realize what His plans were untill years later. But that time His mercy was demonstrated instantly. I can’t say everything was fixed instantly ( it would take years), but from that point on things started to get better.
    Now, I have a church, Hot Rod, family, friends, a promotion to manager, and a wife that makes me realize why people want to get married – I love her so! Even though my wife has stage4 Cancer, I can do nothing but count my blessings to be with her, every day that I am with her.
    Now I understand that churches, Hot Rods, Friends, Familly, and even wives can go away, but nothing can separate me from the love of God. Today Christ is with me, and heaven awaits for my wife and I. Christ will give the “spark” in a perfect time and place, and His love and forgiveness are much more than sufficient.

    • Jillian Nance August 11, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

      Brad, that was rad. Thanx for your honesty, it helps. -Ryan Nance

    • adventures August 12, 2012 at 8:14 am #

      :’) I so needed to read this. Thank you Brad!

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 12, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

      How beautiful are the ways of the Lord!

      Thank you for sharing your story, Brad. We are most definitely thankful for that red light! Which is saying a lot coming from me, just read my past post titled, “The Little Things” and you will understand (if you haven’t already).

  4. Kana Tyler August 11, 2012 at 12:12 am #

    “the holding cell of my ‘drafts’ folder”—I love that description, which in my case is a mess of post-it-notes of things-I-must-get-to…

    Right there with you on those “sparks” as well! My one concession to vanity these days is $3 at WalMart every month to refresh the “bright auburn” and cover the greys… (When I’m asked if I’m a “natural redhead,” I’m always tempted to reply that I am–though my HAIR isn’t…) And sailing! We haven’t a boat at the moment, but this sailboat skipper hopes it’s in our future! 🙂 Thank you for the share.

    • Rivka And Her Wit August 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

      I’m jealous, my “black” costs three dollars more than yours! 😉

      Thank you for gracing this novice with your visit. Your Royal Red-Headedness is always welcome.

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