I have several favorite movies; some of which are: Guys and Dolls, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Singing in the Rain, Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Melody Time, Roman Holiday, Mao’s Last Dancer, and most recently, Made in Dagenham. It is the last of my favorites that I will relate to here.
The focal point of the movie is to showcase the change of infrastructure in England for the Ford Motors factory women in the early 1970’s. Besides the “eye candy” of the period piece, the bright color hues, and the intriguing storyline filled with multilayered characters, the movie sends forth the underlying message of basic human rights. In fact, in all of the movie, there is one scene between wife and husband that stood out to me in particular. It is an exchange where the husband is pleading with his wife for a little “understanding”. However, the basis of his argument is rooted in character traits such as, being a good provider for she and the children, not being a drunkard, and being nice to his wife, etc. All of which, while in a heat-filled and tense conversation, can emulate a firm foundation for a case in point, but are ripped of their pseudo stability when the wife points out that the character traits he mentioned are simply, “as it should be”. Nothing more. And she goes on to explain to him that basic rights are not a privilege…
I’ve actually found the clip of the movie and included it in this post. A feat I am quite proud of because I am a bit of a novice when it comes to navigating my way through “Youtube”.
At any rate, the theme of “As It Should Be” runs through my mind frequently. Of course, in light of a domestic violent situation, it is difficult to Not consider how the absence of the basic rights of a woman and child affect the infrastructure of the family. It is obvious. However, my focus here is really to stay in the realm of the healthy family and how we interact with one another, as showcased in the scene from the movie Made in Dagenham.
For example, would it be right of me to consider that I deserve a special reward because I have cleaned the kitchen after preparing and cooking a meal? Is it right of my husband to think he is an extraordinary human being because he provides a means for his family? Am I exceptional because I take the time to nurture my children and teach them to be good citizens? Do my children deserve extra (note the word “extra” here…the word implies above the usual…I am not suggesting it wrong to acknowledge good behavior) pats to their self esteem because they have enacted polite manners within interactions? Do I deserve an award for taking care of my family, does my husband, do you? Of course you can guess my answer to these questions is, “no”. Special recognition for doling out the basic does not make sense. Not to say that having a sense of appreciation for the basic is bad. Not at all. Actually, appreciation in and of itself, for the basic, is “As It Should Be.”
It feels abrupt for me to stop the conversation here, for I know I could continue on. And I just might in another post. However, it is time for me to get to the kitchen and begin clanging some dishes together which sends out the signal, to my family, that breakfast is in the making. So let us just consider this conversation opener as a teaser, a little “food for thought” to kick start a new week. And if nothing more, an introduction to one of my favorite movies. May peace be with you, as it should be. 🙂
living in loss and gratitude 
The Noise