Cole’s birthday is coming up on Tuesday. The Bent 3 are struggling. But since this is my personal blog and not the forum for Brian and Esther to spill their beans, I shall keep the conversation focused on myself only.
I’m mad at Sigmund Freud. I don’t like “Mourning and Melancholia,” I don’t like 5 stages of grief. I don’t like any of it!
I’ve actually half finished a post that is quite sentimental and beautiful, but it will have to wait because at this moment I am determined to be angry.
I am mad I will never have the opportunity to be jealous of a daughter-in-law. I am bothered by the fact that I will never have my son’s wife think I am the worst parent ever and fearfully leave her children in my care. I am cut short the opportunity to compete for holidays with my son’s inlaws, this irritates me. I am mad I will never endure the better way she cooks salmon, lasagne, or pancakes.
Am I angry? Yes! At this moment I am text book. Call it what you will, Freud, call it what you will.
Now that I have regurgetated that from my system, I find myself creeping back to sorrow. Funny, I like anger better!
living in loss and gratitude 
Bent 3 – We are thinking about you guys today….. I know it’s a rough day, but hopefully you three are able to share some good memories of Cole today that make you smile. As much as I hate to write this, I’m just so sorry he’s not here with you anymore as I’m sure he misses you as much as you miss him. Hugs and lots of love to you all. XOXO the Junipers
Love you, Kim and Robert!
You mourn as long as you need to. We love you guys.
Thank you, Dana. It is nice to know you are alongside us. 🙂
I like both feelings. And I guess I am a rotten Mom because I don’t have attachments to the wims, activities, and rules of my in-law children. My own children have taught me well that it is fruitless to try and change others. I do respect, however, the recommendations that I receive from my family. They are good and loving guideposts.
Dearest Rivka –
What appropriate anger – like Jesus in the temple. You are teaching us. Thank you.
Love, the Ohlunds