What to Say

25 May

Dear World,

I am not doing well.  Now that I have put that out there, there is no need to ask me further.  But let me explain what “not doing well” means for me…

It means my soul is deeply hurting, yet I can still laugh at a joke and smile when a baby is present.It means I smell the clothes of my son every day, still hoping his scent will keep his physical presence alive.
It means I want to run through the parking lots of stores and cry out for help, “man down, man down!”

It means though I get out of bed each day and wash up and dress, I really don’t care about the health of my teeth or the status of my cleanliness.It means, I am hurt, I am hurting, and I am sad.  And though I know the hope of Heaven in my spirit, and have reason to long for when my time comes to go home, I am not comforted in the knowledge my son is its new inhabitant.

It means I am a mother, and I have a man down.

Dear World,

Please do not ask me how I a doing…I am not doing well.

Cole Bent and dog, Piper

Cole with his service dog, Piper

 

 

 

 

 

15 Responses to “What to Say”

  1. Kim Juniper May 29, 2013 at 10:39 am #

    My gosh… you have a way with words that just hits home for me and anyone reading your blog. We hurt for you, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. I have such a heavy heart for you all….think about you everyday and have my own moment of silence and prayer for your family on a daily basis. I know you miss him deeply and Im so-o sorry…it just brings me to tears.
    With love always…
    The Junipers

  2. Moniquey May 29, 2013 at 4:08 am #

    My dearest Rivka,

    I’m not the greatest With words but will try to get this out as well as I can. I’ve been trying to make sense of this for the past few days and try to wrap my head around this all! Getting the heart stopping news of Cole’s Passing Sunday morning from Greg was just so hard. You and your family have played such a BIG part in my life and have helped me through struggles I know i could not get through on my own. I know There are no words i can say that can that change the way you feel at this time; but just wanted to say that I am sorry for the hurt you are going through right now. My dad and I wanted to come see you all; I spoke with your mother and both realized right now is not the time. We understand. Just want to let you know we are praying for all of you and love you all very much!
    -Moniquey-

  3. Sue Green May 28, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

    Dear Rivka and family, Rollin and I are so very sorry to hear about Cole”s passing. We thought back when Cole went on several trips with Ty and friends in the motor home those are great memories of Cole. Cole was always fun to be around. We miss him already. Fondly, Sue and Rollin

  4. jeansullivan May 27, 2013 at 7:54 am #

    Grieving your child is a heavy weight that makes it hard to breathe. Praying for The Holy Spirit to be your Comfort today.

  5. jeansullivan May 27, 2013 at 7:49 am #

    Feeling your heaviness. Weeping with you.

  6. Rhonda Saboff May 26, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

    an unbearable wordless part of life – our Love is with you three, Rhonda + Gai

  7. Nora May 26, 2013 at 12:33 pm #

    My heart understands how you feel, my head still can’t make sense of it all. I feel numb with sadness but I know my sadness is only a speck of what you now feel. I can only relate as to when my mother passed. Our lives are forever changed but we learn to adjust, we learn to continue, we do eventually find peace and joy again. I love you all.

  8. Adrienne Mannis May 25, 2013 at 10:03 pm #

    Rifka, each and every day will be better. Cole will always be with you and may his memory be a strength for you all. I will be calling you soon and just know that you and your family are loved by all near and far.

    M.A.

  9. Brad May 25, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

    John 11:33-35 (NKJV)

    33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34 And He said, “Where have you laid him?”

    They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”

    35 Jesus wept.

  10. candy sakamoto May 25, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    WHAT TO SAY : I love you. You all are always on my mind, in my heart and most of all in my prayers. I can not stop thinking of you all with tear filled eyes. Right now for me, I hope this helps, the love that goes out from one to another. with much love to you all, candymoto

  11. Eve Efries May 25, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    I’m so sorry Rivka. My heart breaks for you and your family. My family, friends and I are praying for you everyday.
    xoxo
    Eve

  12. Alice Foster May 25, 2013 at 10:03 am #

    Querida Rivka,

    Yo te acompano en tu tristeza y te mando un fuerte abrazo (sin palabras). Sra. Foster

  13. mediaworldmarketing May 25, 2013 at 9:27 am #

    Dear Rivka, My love and prayers to you. Teri **************************************************************************** ***************************

    • Ann McMenomy May 26, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

      Dear Rivka & Brian,
      We love you and are thinking of you every day and you are in our prayers.
      All our Love to you,
      Bob, Gen and Ann McMenomy

    • adventures May 26, 2013 at 3:53 pm #

      I love you and am still praying for you and your family. Chrissy

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