Odds and (goofy) Ends

25 Apr

Truth is, I have written many a post while standing in front of my bathroom mirror applying the necessary makeup with which to meet the day.  But then I am off and running, in many directions, though none of which proves to be an effective method for taking off the extra 15 pounds (6.8 kilograms) that has made its home around my waist.  Now that that has been said, I say, “welcome back”…to myself!

Sheesh, sometimes just living is all I can handle; let alone formulating thought beyond “duh?”—so it has been these last few weeks.  And because of the many trains of thought that have been running through the station of my mind, I will utilize this post as a sharing ground and by doing so, hopefully return next time to musings beyond the fragments I will utilize today.  …like always, I make no promises!

  • This morning I stared at the coffee bean grinder, while it was grinding my beans, and blankly kept the button depressed while the, already pulverized (now) grounds, twirled and whirled within the encapsulated bin.  I finally caught myself and asked, “Rivka what are you doing?”  “Nuthin, why is it a bad sign when spinning coffee grounds prove entertaining?”  Let us let the answer to this one lie dormant…please!
  • Where is the summer weather I know and love?
  • We hosted my coming of age niece for a week last week; our time together was delightful.  I am exhausted!
  • Our family has learned (I say “has” because we are in fact enacting the following concept) to operate within a strange, new normal.  At least it feels strange to me.  My son’s health is poor…this is not new news.  And we have learned to operate within a crisis state by vacillating between attending to the extreme and attending to other aspects of life, simultaneously.  Let me explain.  I have learned to utilize my days’ allotment of energy to step up to whatever the occasion at hand might be.  Such as, coordinating healthcare maneuvers for my son while sharing Hollywood’s iconic locations with my niece.  In fact, I picked her up from the airport Sunday morning, drove her to my house, picked up my son and drove him to the emergency room, took him home after he received the proper treatment, returned to my house to step back into the shoes of ‘happy hostess’ and made a decent dinner which we enjoyed together.  The last time my son was taken to the ER my husband and I were attending a Bat Mitzvah, 500 miles away.  It was that day I learned how to practice this new place of normal–happy for the young lady of honor while fielding questions of concern via text.  I even danced that night.  And this past week I moved between these two vastly different planes like an old pro.  My conclusion?  Life is life…this is mine (ours).
  • A cancer diagnosis sucks.  It sucks because the looming statistics attached to the particular type are always with you, even when you ignore them.  Because of this truth, my son is scheduled for MRI’s of his brain tomorrow night.  Result of his health bouncing between bad to worse, back to bad again (at worse is when we head to the emergency room).  I miss my son.  Esther misses her brother.  We miss his joy, we miss his hope, we miss his wit.  Brian would never say something so negative!  🙂
  • It is a strange place of existence, carrying on in life while housing a broken heart…for many of us, this is normal.
  • My daughter attended a high school Prom this past Saturday evening.  I thought she didn’t care much about it, turns out I was wrong…dead wrong!  Screech, shift gears, and voila, my attention became all hers.  Thankfully I have an understanding niece!  In fact, she became integral to the cause…photographer.

    Prom photos

    Esther ready for Prom

  • I have a headache, today is the third day I have awoke to its imposing presence.  Last night Brian asked me a financial question, I told him I do not calculate well at night, nor with a headache, which made it impossible for me to pursue getting him an answer as both were a present factor.  Today he expects to revisit the topic, at least it’s morning!  In fact, it is still early.  Strange thing happened for me today (yes another one), I awoke and thought it was roughly 7a.m.  You see our electricity was turned off yesterday due to pole repairs.  As a result, my clocks (coffee pot included) are not set correctly.  And since I kept my cell phone turned off I was truly unaware of the hour.  Brian awoke and joined me as I was finishing breakfast…at, I thought, about 7:30-8:00a.m.  He checked his phone and reported it was only 7:13a.m.  Wow, I gained a whole hour!  …I wonder at what time I awoke this morning?  No wonder the spinning coffee grounds fascinated me so! 😉

Well as the Looney Tunes family of cartoons would say, “that’s all folks!”  And just as I am finishing expelling my fragmented thoughts, Brian shows me a photo of my paternal grandparents, Harry and Bessie, on their wedding day in the 1920’s.  I must now go and ponder why I don’t know more about this fascinating couple.

nostalgic family photos

Harry and Bessie

14 Responses to “Odds and (goofy) Ends”

  1. adventures May 7, 2013 at 2:13 pm #

    Oh my!! Esther is BEAUTIFUL!! I love reading your daily musings. You remind me that I am not crazy in my thoughts or in this world. I think in my mind much like your writing read and love to become submerged in your words when I stop by to visit. Please do tell Esther that I said she had to have been the most lovely lady at the Prom – hands down! 🙂 Much love and Blessings dear 🙂

    • Rivka And Her Wit May 7, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

      I have to agree with you on this one…Esther was the belle of the ball (absolutely biased free)! 😉

      Thank you for your lovely comment. It just so happens, I read your ‘adventures in the snow’ post before coming over here to my own blog. Nice to see we are keeping tabs on each other. 🙂

  2. Adrienne Mannis April 27, 2013 at 11:15 am #

    My wonderful Rivka – you and your family are a true inspiration to all. Esther looks beautiful – hope she had a great time. Love you all lots, M.A.

  3. Greg Wilker April 26, 2013 at 2:06 pm #

    “It is a strange place of existence, carrying on in life while housing a broken heart…for many of us, this is normal”

  4. Greg Wilker April 26, 2013 at 2:02 pm #

    i haven’t finished reading yet – but may i just say, pulverized coffee beans are excellent for espresso makers – and espresso is goooood!

  5. Brad April 25, 2013 at 7:51 pm #

    Tell Esther she is absolutely beautiful! She is starting to look more like you. I hope she had a great time at Prom! I hope Brian keeps his shotgun handy to chase away the bad boys. Just kidding, I know Esther has a good head on her shoulders as well. With this combo of beauty and brains, and listening to God’s will, you will eventually get a great son-in-law. A new normal to look forward to.

    Cole knows he is in our prayers constantly. We know a little about the new normal as well. I hope the new normal, that is ever-changing, changes for the better with a lot less pain and a lot more energy for Cole. God willing!

    Know that Michelle and I pray for you and Brian as well. I hope that you and Brian have more fun, and some more rest, in your up-coming new normal. Now go pulverize some coffee beans!

    • Rivka And Her Wit April 25, 2013 at 8:49 pm #

      I know you can relate, Brad. You and Michelle are excellent examples of ‘forging on’ in the midst of, you know…

      Thank you for this blessing of a comment, we are all smiling as result.

  6. Stop Along The Way April 25, 2013 at 7:19 pm #

    I love the pictures Rivka, especially the one of Esther. She looks lovely. Ahh, daughters!
    As usual, I relate to so much of what you wrote. My kids and I had to live a new normal for the two years my husband struggled with cancer. It was very painful but it also yielded some of our most treasured memories. I know it’s not easy but I’m glad you write about this time and I thank you for sharing it.

    • Rivka And Her Wit April 25, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

      Thank YOU for helping me along my way! I am deeply touched (and grateful).

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