Truth is, I have written many a post while standing in front of my bathroom mirror applying the necessary makeup with which to meet the day. But then I am off and running, in many directions, though none of which proves to be an effective method for taking off the extra 15 pounds (6.8 kilograms) that has made its home around my waist. Now that that has been said, I say, “welcome back”…to myself!
Sheesh, sometimes just living is all I can handle; let alone formulating thought beyond “duh?”—so it has been these last few weeks. And because of the many trains of thought that have been running through the station of my mind, I will utilize this post as a sharing ground and by doing so, hopefully return next time to musings beyond the fragments I will utilize today. …like always, I make no promises!
- This morning I stared at the coffee bean grinder, while it was grinding my beans, and blankly kept the button depressed while the, already pulverized (now) grounds, twirled and whirled within the encapsulated bin. I finally caught myself and asked, “Rivka what are you doing?” “Nuthin, why is it a bad sign when spinning coffee grounds prove entertaining?” Let us let the answer to this one lie dormant…please!
- Where is the summer weather I know and love?
- We hosted my coming of age niece for a week last week; our time together was delightful. I am exhausted!
- Our family has learned (I say “has” because we are in fact enacting the following concept) to operate within a strange, new normal. At least it feels strange to me. My son’s health is poor…this is not new news. And we have learned to operate within a crisis state by vacillating between attending to the extreme and attending to other aspects of life, simultaneously. Let me explain. I have learned to utilize my days’ allotment of energy to step up to whatever the occasion at hand might be. Such as, coordinating healthcare maneuvers for my son while sharing Hollywood’s iconic locations with my niece. In fact, I picked her up from the airport Sunday morning, drove her to my house, picked up my son and drove him to the emergency room, took him home after he received the proper treatment, returned to my house to step back into the shoes of ‘happy hostess’ and made a decent dinner which we enjoyed together. The last time my son was taken to the ER my husband and I were attending a Bat Mitzvah, 500 miles away. It was that day I learned how to practice this new place of normal–happy for the young lady of honor while fielding questions of concern via text. I even danced that night. And this past week I moved between these two vastly different planes like an old pro. My conclusion? Life is life…this is mine (ours).
- A cancer diagnosis sucks. It sucks because the looming statistics attached to the particular type are always with you, even when you ignore them. Because of this truth, my son is scheduled for MRI’s of his brain tomorrow night. Result of his health bouncing between bad to worse, back to bad again (at worse is when we head to the emergency room). I miss my son. Esther misses her brother. We miss his joy, we miss his hope, we miss his wit. Brian would never say something so negative! 🙂
- It is a strange place of existence, carrying on in life while housing a broken heart…for many of us, this is normal.
- My daughter attended a high school Prom this past Saturday evening. I thought she didn’t care much about it, turns out I was wrong…dead wrong! Screech, shift gears, and voila, my attention became all hers. Thankfully I have an understanding niece! In fact, she became integral to the cause…photographer.
- I have a headache, today is the third day I have awoke to its imposing presence. Last night Brian asked me a financial question, I told him I do not calculate well at night, nor with a headache, which made it impossible for me to pursue getting him an answer as both were a present factor. Today he expects to revisit the topic, at least it’s morning! In fact, it is still early. Strange thing happened for me today (yes another one), I awoke and thought it was roughly 7a.m. You see our electricity was turned off yesterday due to pole repairs. As a result, my clocks (coffee pot included) are not set correctly. And since I kept my cell phone turned off I was truly unaware of the hour. Brian awoke and joined me as I was finishing breakfast…at, I thought, about 7:30-8:00a.m. He checked his phone and reported it was only 7:13a.m. Wow, I gained a whole hour! …I wonder at what time I awoke this morning? No wonder the spinning coffee grounds fascinated me so! 😉
Well as the Looney Tunes family of cartoons would say, “that’s all folks!” And just as I am finishing expelling my fragmented thoughts, Brian shows me a photo of my paternal grandparents, Harry and Bessie, on their wedding day in the 1920’s. I must now go and ponder why I don’t know more about this fascinating couple.