Tag Archives: community

Not Lost (and not yet found)

2 May

I have, in the course of the last week, begun two new post entries which still remain unfinished in my “drafts” folder.  The speed at which I’m traveling, this week and next, is keeping me in many places (figuratively and literally) and not allowing me to land long enough to finish my writings.  In fact,  just having one adolescent female, which I happen to be mother to, is more than a full time job and requires much overtime!  Additionally, she is not the only factor present in my life which requires attention.  Thus by the end of the night, when I am cozy and ready to write, my brain shows me the state mandated “break policy” and I yield to its compelling call.  And rather than bore you with the details, some of which are exciting and some of which are trying–but both of which will end up in a “real” blog post, I will leave you with a photo taken of me today.  Yep, my dear neighbor and friend Miles “loved” my look today so much he took the time to snap a good one!

So I leave you with the picture that tells the story, though I warn you, it is a chaotic tale indeed!  And know that even though you haven’t heard from BENTRIVKA in a while, it is not because I am lost…just not quite yet found (now that is a crazy phrase structure if I do say so myself–“just not quite yet found”–I am again hearing the break-room call!). 😉

 

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The Entertainer

21 Apr

I have decided to consider the pestering thoughts in my mind to be a form of entertainment.  As I sit here and listen to an excerpt from the opera, La Bohème, and type this posting, I am determined to convince myself of the former statement.  The reason for my determination is that I am, presently, being needled in my psyche by an insensitive reply from a complete stranger, to a comment I made on another blog.  And in full disclosure, the insensitive reply is not what is truly bothering me.  It is the fact I am allowing the comment to bother me that actually is the bother!  Thus in order to convince my feelings to not dwell in hurt, I am attempting to change the perspective of the committee within my head.  The badgering, nagging thoughts that are doing their best to rob me of the joy of the moment (whatever the moment may be), all the while attempting to entice me into literary action by way of responding to the response.

There, I just switched from La Bohème to Carmen…a more fitting opera for the occasion and also the very first opera I was privileged to see.  My father took me to see it when I was a little girl, and I still remember the sheer enjoyment of being pulled into the drama of the stage.

At any rate, the problem does not truly lie in the lap of the commentator.  She, or he, does not know me and therefore does not have access to my heart, the foundations of my thoughts, nor the accompanying intonation of my voice.  I carry the burden fully because I gave into the enticements of the blogging world.  Enticements such as, little phrases that pop up on my screen after I’ve posted a new entry which tell me how to increase my scope of notoriety (otherwise known as my reach).  One of which instructs me, the blogger, to make comments on the blogs of others.  Exposure is the way to increase my own stats.  So I tried it out and–“wham-O”–I took a hit.  Now I am pretty thick skinned for the most part.  I am confident in myself.  I know my strengths (what are those again? ;)), my not-so-strong points (cherry drops off a pull up bar NOT being one of them–I still rule the playground!), and my earnest intent to not harm another (though my humanity fails me in this regard much too often).  I also realize I will be the vinegar to anothers’ oil, and that is the way life goes sometimes.  So when I let a little commentary bother me to the point of reciting, in my head, varying ways of shutting down the misunderstanding–and by “shutting down” I am not thinking in terms of politeness, I get annoyed at my self.  Especially as I have jumped into this new world of blogging for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with building a large reading base.  And by succumbing to the temptation to be popular (sing it “Wicked”), I lose sight of my intent and purpose.  All of which reflects poorly on the face beautiful, and vanity is a true motivator (of course wanting to follow after righteousness and not my own self centered insecurities could be a player as well).

So now the challenge of redirecting the “head” committee by way of ushering out the tactical methods of the ‘thought police’.  Methodology:  Turn the pests into actors playing out a scene.  The effect:  I am rid the burden the former intruders befell me and left giddy from the new comedic performance.  Given a choice, I choose comedy every time.

Yay, mission accomplished!  My “About” page remains an honest tale of my blogging intent and I have averted the urge to scathe a fellow human being with the quick flick of the enter key.  Oh happy day…

Matthew 22:36-40

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

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A Wrinkle in Time

26 Nov

A Wrinkle in Time is NOT a nod to Madeleine L’Engle; though her book by the same title is one of my all time favorites.  No, my title is reflective of the condition and transformational process of raising a teenager!  For those of you who have passed this stage of life, you will smile with a sage wisdom of someone who has made it through this battle zone.  If you have yet to trod this rough terrain yourself, you will have all the answers for every scenario connected to the hormonally raging adolescent–and happy to offer them I’m sure.  And, if you are presently in the throngs of being witness to your child as angel with horns, as I am, then you will understand more profoundly the implication of my title.

I know, I know, I have nothing to complain about…Esther is a dream!  It is true, she is.  She is kind, loving, productive, and willing to learn…BUT, she is still a teenager.  And dream or no dream, she can incite, in me, a wrath so deeply felt that in the moment of my vexation I feel it more safe to run away, than to open my mouth.  In fact, I have found myself screaming (with my inner voice only), “Abort, Abort, Abort!”  And in order to apply the directive within a reasonable amount of time, I begin to fantasize about my private Greek island.  You know the one where no-one can find me.  The isle of enchantment where I can stay while she finishes this important phase of life.  My plan is to emerge from my sabbatical with not one furrow in my brow, nor one (more) line added to my face, nor white hair to my head.  In my fantasy I have managed to avert the distress of my daughter’s adolescent folly, molding, and maturation.  And with this avoidance I plan to find, in her stead, a beautifully stable woman who walks in wisdom and strength.  AAAhhhh what a lovely idea!

Along the lines (no pun intended) of wrinkles…I am taking Cole back to Zhu’s Neuro-Acupuncture Center http://www.scalpacupuncture.org, the week after next. And because Cole and Piper (both) feel they need to be with each other, I consequently need to find a different lodging situation (our previous hosts politely declined Piper’s stay due to their own canine companion).  We have received a couple of very generous donations which helped toward gas last time, and will actually cover the treatment this next time (how can I ever thank my precious Aunts?!).   And in all honesty, if it weren’t for the fact that I wholeheartedly believe Cole will regain his full vision under the treatment and therapy regimen of Dr. Zhu, I wouldn’t take pains to make the trip again (especially with a dog).    But since I am, I am asking for help, or a favor…

Right now I am looking into a hotel room for the three of us-Cole, Piper, and myself (a confinement which is sure to place new creases in my brow).  I am also perusing VRBO.com and will contact a couple of condo owners to ask them if they will donate some nights to our cause (fund-raising is not my forte, but I will give it a go just the same).  So if any of you has a connection with either an available home/condo/apartment or hotel in the San Jose area, please pass the blessing onto to us.  I promise you, we are very grateful recipients–though mentioning it is quite embarrassing.

So there you have it; The good, the bad, the wrinkled, and the needy…oh what fun!  Now don’t you just hear the beckoning of Greece?!

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