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Heroes Along The Way

3 Apr

While strolling along, in this earthly life, I have had the privilege of having varying people touch my heart; and by doing so, guide my character.  Some of these special folks are finished with this side of the ‘dust-o-the-earth’ and are probably sparkling much brighter from beyond than our dingy, planet bound, perspective allows us to acknowledge.  This post is NOT paying homage to them.

I have also been influenced by the fortitude and experiences of a few characters in life I have never met, but admired for one reason or another.  They will also NOT be considered in this particular writing.

This writing, or blog post, is specifically dedicated to those still present with me (though not necessarily close in proximity).  The idea to honor a few people, via Bentrivka.com, came to me in my 3′ x 3′ encapsulated think tank just this morning–otherwise known as my shower.  My shower is a place I tend to listen, reflect, and converse with either myself or G-d Almighty.  And sometimes I merely bathe.

At any rate, the following compilation will, hopefully by the time I finish, be in alphabetical order, so not a one will feel compelled to be slighted by their positioning on the list. 😉

  • Aunt Marge–  She gives me the gift of encouraging words and a welcoming presence.  Every time I see her, she offers up the same praises as she has done before.  Her praises always encourage, her smile reassures me I am welcome, and her patience with me seems to convey the idea that ‘I matter’.  She is a model of the best kind of cheerleader.
  • Leah– She continues to be the model of familial devotion.  Her example has held me to the task in even my most toughest challenges.
  • Momma A–  She is like Switzerland during WWII, neutral.  Her ability to offer neutrality to her family and, in some cases friends, resonates within me when I want to take sides and settle a score.
  • Nonnie–  I have never met another who extends the gift of including others more than her.  With Nonnie, every one is welcome.  This standard I long to possess naturally, though I am sad to say I don’t.  But through her influence I know how to maneuver my actions toward  this direction.
  • Teresita–  Her gift to me has been her unwavering faith.  An example was offered in my youth, though remains a source of inspiration for me to this day.
  • Zia Kafrin– Her ongoing gift to me is the manner in which she shows unconditional love and acceptance toward others.  She has modeled patience and mercy when frustration and indignation could have been an acceptable choice.

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I wrote the above post on January 31, 2013, which happened to be my birthday and also happened to be a very, very bad day.  The month that followed showed little improvement.  However, I have been given reprieve in March and am moving ever closer to a sense of consistent normalcy (consistency is key and normalcy subjective).

I actually intended to scrap this particular writing because I felt it too risky a concept (lest I forget to list a deserving soul and because allocating one attribute to each person is too hard to do–heroes are multifaceted people!).  However, I have decided to publish it INCOMPLETE as tribute to my Aunt Marge who was living back in January, though is now home in Heaven.  As I prepare to travel north this coming weekend to attend her memorial, I couldn’t bring myself to trash the list that she had, previous to her passing, made it on.  It just didn’t feel right.

And though I previously considered the list too risky, under this new banner my previous trepidations are quelled.

I love you Aunt Marge…this one’s for you! xoxo

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Films and Devotion-Part II

28 Mar

Yes, when I originally wrote the title of my last post, Nature, Films, and Devotion, I had intended to separate the three words into their own posting.  However, I have mulled the idea of each over in my own head long enough that now the original intent I find to be quite boring.  And so I will fulfill my self imposed duty by combing the last of the two–Films and Devotion.

The two films I will write about actually have devotion as an underlying theme, which is how I came upon my introspection in that direction previously.  The first film is simply titled, “Emperor.”  It is a movie that is currently playing in the theater (more than likely the independent theater, though it does have some big names in its cast).  The basis of the storyline centers around the time of Japan’s surrender during World War II, and General (Supreme Leader) MacArthur’s mission to rebuild the war torn country.  Though I do not recommend utilizing a film to educate one to facts, this story does present interesting factual occurrences which, upon further research, prove to be quite enlightening.

I was particularly moved by the idea of devotion that was talked about between characters throughout the movie.  An American General, under MacArthur, was given the mission to either exonerate or convict the Emperor Hirohito for being party to the strike on Pearl Harbor.  During his mission we, the viewers, are given privy information into his love of Japan through flashbacks from his college days and his love affair with a Japanese foreign exchange student.  Through these varying vignettes we learn of the idea of devotion which the Japanese people have embedded in their culture.  According to the film, the Americans cannot understand this type of commitment to a leader, much less a cause.  And we, the viewer, are further solidified in this notion when toward the end of the film Hirohito meets with MacArthur to accept full responsibility for any and all war crimes.  Now to keep this post more on the shorter end than the longer, I must leave the details of all that occurred to you to look up on your own.  For it is not a ‘black and white’ case and there is much to learn concerning the Emperor, his position, the people, and the significance of his meeting with MacArthur.  What I was left with, from the film, was the idea of devotion–and the question, “To what am I devoted?”

The other film which struck a chord with me is a documentary titled, Half the Sky.  This film chronicles the various horrors females face around the world, for being born with two X chromosomes, and the people determined to redirect their fate.  I confess, this was a difficult movie for me to watch…but then again so was Emperor.  Both films have very heavy, and disturbing, realities.  Yet both films are threaded with the redeeming qualities brought forth through devotion.  In Half the Sky, we learn of women (and men) who are devoting their lives to protect and redirect the human experience for girls who are sold into sex slavery as young as 3 years old, and females who are utilized to keep their family afloat, while being subjected to incestuous circumstances.  We learn of people who are dedicated to educating those double XX’s (girls) who long for an education.  And in this process we learn of the dangers, not only the girls are living with as result of their birthright, but the danger the ‘helpers’ endure to ensure the possibility of a change in destiny.  These ‘saviors’ are devoted.  One woman in particular, escaped the life as a sexual slave and has established two homes (plantation type estates), where she rehabilitates these beautiful girls and empowers them to rise above their former affliction.  This middle aged woman organizes raids upon brothels, rescuing girls while risking her own life in the process.  Hers is a devotion that stirs my soul.

Ok, there is truly no way to tackle this subject without being slightly verbose…and because of that reality, I will anticipate that you, the reader, will gather enough of the information I am hoping to impart without needing me to carry on further.  I do hope to glean a greater sense of purpose from the concept of devotion.  I ask myself certain questions, “To what length will my devotion endure?”  “If I become disenchanted by someone, will I allow my devotion (to them) to cease?”  “To what length am I willing to risk my comfort in the effort to assist others?”

These questions are not abstract in nature, they actually translate directly to my children, my husband, my extended family, and my friends.  Yes, I would love to be an ambassador for change on a global level.  But I must first evaluate if I have what it takes to stay the course with my loved ones.  I must transfer my global desires down to a finite and practical level.  And for several reasons the two films, Emperor and Half the Sky, help me to keep my focus and strengthen my devotion to those present before me.

And now I ask you, “To what are you devoted?”

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Dancing with the Devil

7 Mar

In my varied traipses through life, I have, time and time again, found the following, figurative analogy, to be true:  When a person becomes addicted to a mind altering substance (aka: illicit drugs and some not so illicit, yet rendering the same effect), the Devil can walk away.  His job is done, the drugs take over.  The job being the mission to destroy.  But before the diabolical being has the freedom to relinquish its prey to the, master of wreckage, a dance occurs.  The Lucifer Waltz.  This is where Lucifer has the lead, but only if his partner is a willing follower.  Like any waltz, there is an objective to the act.  And through a good leader of dance (which the Devil is), the second partner will receive the intended result because of the effortless guiding of the leader.  Thus, with poise and purpose, the victim of the waltz is lead through the steps to get there.  There being addiction.  Once there, it seems to me, the Devil walks away.

Since last October the world of narcotics has entered our life.  Yes, my son is a cancer patient.  Yes, he has an unfortunate affliction of unidentifiable pain (unidentifiable meaning, the brain is registering a severity of infliction yet the body is functioning without harm–not an uncommon occurrence post a disruption to the brain as he has suffered by the removal of his brain tumor).  Yet with the introduction of pain management, into his life, the dance began.

These past four months my husband, my daughter, and myself (friends and extended family included) have been watching on the side lines while our beloved has been swept from one side of the room to the other, whirling and twirling in many directions.  All of them pointing downward.  And of course this dance came in a prettier package than one found on the street, for it has the seal of approval from the echelon of the medical community.  Fancier clothes, same waltz!

My son needs help to be sure.  Yet help has come with too high a price…fear.  Fear our beloved will not awake.  Fear our beloved will lose all hope.  Fear our beloved will be taken away and a drone of a human left in his stead.  Fear the music will end and he will not be left standing.

I have shared my concerns with my son, we all have.  Thankfully, he has been given an insane amount of strength…strength for life.  He has heard the cries of his family.  The overwhelmingly loud cries of his failing body, and has stepped off the dance floor.

Are narcotics still present in our lives?  Yes, though not to the same degree.  Yet for a while there it seemed the Devil was gaining in its efforts to no longer take issue with my son.   But it is the fool, for my son stopped the music while the dance was in progress.  And for now, the intense amount of familial stress has subsided.  We are abandoning our posts as spectators, nay judges…nay, survivors of the dance.  We are returned to other things: dreaming, working, exercising, loving, sharing.  No longer ‘white knuckling’, but living.

Previous to October, if someone asked me if I would like to pray, my answer was always a question, “Oh, did I stop?”  Meaning, I am so accustomed to being in constant communication with Father G-d that I would only stop talking to Him, in order to have a conversation with someone else.  Yet only just a few weeks ago I had to enact a practice of beginning each day with prayer.  An act which required reminders and an effort to remember.  But I ask you, “Is it any wonder my prayers were silenced for a spell?”  After all, can anyone hear their own thoughts when Cacophony is orchestra leader to the ‘Lucifer Waltz’?!

Note:  I do not claim to understand the power of addiction, nor its infliction on any one person.  I have not the education to claim any real knowledge on the subject.  It is only my experience, as a witness to the demise of life and the role drug addiction has played in the cause of destruction, of which I write in this post.  My heart is heavy for those who are no longer dancing.

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