Tag Archives: choice

Not So Common Courtesy

18 Jun

As I was in the middle of preparing tonight’s dinner (or supper, depending on the region you belong to), the phone rang.  The area code was one which I recognized, and which I anticipated a call back from, so I answered the call.  My “hello” was met with a fast paced presentation about solar energy and the “absolutely free cost for installation” provided from the government, should I qualify.  The man on the line then said, “Now I’m going to ask you several questions.  First…”  At that point I went in for the kill!  “I need to stop you right there!  What did you say your name was?  Well Mark, I do believe the appropriate way to proceed, before telling me you are going to ask me questions, is to first ask me if I am interested in being a candidate.”  To which I said, after he asked, “No”.  And he said, “Well … we are supposed to…”no?”…well then goodbye!”  —CLICK—

I’m thinking that Mr. Mark has never had a lesson in courtesy.  At least that is the idea I have decided to land on.  I was honestly ready to give him a good lesson, but he was so confounded by my interruption of his script, or re-direction rather, that his best response was to hang up.  No matter to me.  I was cooking and prepping food which is always nice to do two handed (instead of holding the phone with one hand).

And I would have left the incident there, instead of bringing up here, but the topic of courtesy–or lack thereof–has really been heavy on my mind as of late.  For instance, today when driving up to Long Beach I had the unpleasant experience of having a car speed up upon seeing my indicator light flash, signaling my move to the next lane.  I had, upon depression of the switch, plenty of room to move over until the car sped up with intent to block my indicated lane change.  Now since I couldn’t drag the driver to the side of the road and give him a proper lesson in courtesy, and since I couldn’t legally disable his rear tire by way of assistance from a firearm, I was left with only one choice.  I moved into the lane I had indicated I was going to move into as if the discourtesy of the other driver was in no manner affecting my action.  In other words, I arrogantly moved over into the lane as if to say, “go ahead, hit me–you ass!”  I think my confidence (call it what you will, but I will hang on confidence), stems from driving classic cars…they can withstand a bumping into without sustaining significant damage.  The only problem–I wasn’t driving one of my classics at the time.  I was in a new fan-dangled plastic bumper-ed car.  And though, thankfully, I was not hit nor did I cause an accident of any kind, my action did force the other driver to hit his brakes because I (in a vehicle of course) was now in his face.

I realize that in both of my anecdota one could argue the infraction lies in my response…as I appear to be a little too tightly wound.  To which I concur (to being tightly wound), though I will not accept the title of, discourteous.  Let me explain.

The salesman, Mr. Mark, knowingly cold-called my number at the dinner hour.  Without knowing anything about who he was calling, he brazenly proceeded without gaining the proper introductions and permission to do so.  And truly, had Mark come across with an ounce of consideration, I would have heard him out or suggested a better time to try back.   Had the conversation begun something like, “Good evening.  I am sorry to interrupt your day, but may I have your permission to discuss an exciting opportunity for you to be given solar energy?”, I would have been more receptive to his information…honestly!

And as far as driving…

You can consider me the type of driver who doesn’t believe in speeds less than 65mph.  That is right, Sammy Hagar and his ‘I can’t drive 55’ has nothing on me, cause 65 is my minimum!  But even so, should you activate your indicator light to move over to my lane, I will make way for you.  And though I prefer my way on the road be uninterrupted and in a constant forward motion, I will change my lane or adjust my acceleration, in order to accommodate the understood request presented by either your right or left flasher.

To me, consideration of others is an action we are each obligated to bestow, and an action we are obliged to receive.  And because I do consider others while driving, or calling, or interacting; and also because I am wound super tight…I feel compelled to instruct by passive or not so passive means.  After all, the coined term is “common courtesy”…though today it is appearing to be ‘not so common’.

Oy vay, write about a subject of this kind and watch out! …I am opening myself up to having all of my ‘missteps’ listed out before me.  Bring it on, I say; bring it on.  🙂

 

 

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Who’s That Girl?

19 May

I have found myself, of late, with some extra time on my hands…actually, in my schedule.  Periodically I will have one day in the week, sometimes two back to back, where the square box on the monthly calendar is literally blank.  Now mind you, there is ALWAYS work needing to be done even when the scheduler is devoid of listed appointments.  Such as papers awaiting an organizational interlude, laundry (not just clothes, linens and towels too) in need of soap and water, walls so smudged they are doubling as finger-printing devices, dust bunnies multiplying as often as their animalia counterpart, weeds, weeds, and more weeds always awaiting their demise (though they are, more often than not, winning the battle), windows and mirrors longing, begging, aching for a nominal assertion of ‘spit and polish’, AND many more perfunctory tasks that if I don’t stop listing them now will, I fear, cause me to lose my reading audience.  For the mere listing of them will remind one, perhaps two-three-or four, readers of a mundane chore awaiting their attention as well.

Yet regardless of the ever present occupations, the ones that call to me regularly, there are days when the outside forces, which pull me from my domesticity, are quieted.  And when I come upon one such day, and in choosing to ignore the aforementioned “to do’s” , I find myself wondering…Who am I anymore?…

  • Do I still like swimming in the ocean?
  • Why am I not wanting to go rowing?
  • Why am I enjoying the quiet so much?
  • What do I ‘enjoy’ eating?
  • Do I like swimming?
  • Do I still like roller coasters?
  • Am I interested in finishing my undergraduate degree?
  • Where would I like to work if I had to go out and get a job?
  • Am I going to be able to handle old age?
  • Do I like gardening?
  • Do I still like hiking?
  • Should I keep my hair short, or grow it out long again?
  • Am I inspired?
  • If I didn’t live where I am living, where would I want to live?
  • Why am I not motivated to get my bicycle tires fixed?
  • Why do I always want to get lost in IKEA?
  • How do I avoid using words such as: so, all, got, and, but, etc.
  • When will I again be ready to read a novel, short story, or play?

The contemplations above are nothing compared to the strange phenomenon that comes over me when I spend the first part of the day piddling around the house.  The phenom being, I lose ALL motivation to leave it (it being my home).  In fact, I have had to drudge up some serious creativity just to execute a proper meal for my family–as a result of forgoing the trip to the grocery store because leaving the house was too daunting a task.  Additionally, I have had fantasies of visiting varying friends, on my ‘calendar-free’ days, only to lose the ambition when the day actually presents the opportunity.  And yes, I realize this past year has been a full spectrum run of events; but don’t you think I should be higher functioning by now?  Especially as I have been given several days of rest from time to time?  Especially as Cole is more capable and independent (in his self-care)?  Well regardless of your answer, I personally feel I should be at a higher level of energy…at the very least I desire a higher level of functionality.

Even so, with bereft vigor, I do what I must and is necessary to keep order and semblance of a productive life.  All the while unable to evade my own introspection…who’s that girl, running around with you?  And though I share my ruminations, you need not trouble yourselves in attempt to procure for me a resolution.  I assure you, I will find her.  She is not far off I think, only slightly derailed…perhaps a bit exhausted. 😉

P.s. My musings are inward focused and not to be projected, in any manner, toward any one individual outside of myself.

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The Entertainer

21 Apr

I have decided to consider the pestering thoughts in my mind to be a form of entertainment.  As I sit here and listen to an excerpt from the opera, La Bohème, and type this posting, I am determined to convince myself of the former statement.  The reason for my determination is that I am, presently, being needled in my psyche by an insensitive reply from a complete stranger, to a comment I made on another blog.  And in full disclosure, the insensitive reply is not what is truly bothering me.  It is the fact I am allowing the comment to bother me that actually is the bother!  Thus in order to convince my feelings to not dwell in hurt, I am attempting to change the perspective of the committee within my head.  The badgering, nagging thoughts that are doing their best to rob me of the joy of the moment (whatever the moment may be), all the while attempting to entice me into literary action by way of responding to the response.

There, I just switched from La Bohème to Carmen…a more fitting opera for the occasion and also the very first opera I was privileged to see.  My father took me to see it when I was a little girl, and I still remember the sheer enjoyment of being pulled into the drama of the stage.

At any rate, the problem does not truly lie in the lap of the commentator.  She, or he, does not know me and therefore does not have access to my heart, the foundations of my thoughts, nor the accompanying intonation of my voice.  I carry the burden fully because I gave into the enticements of the blogging world.  Enticements such as, little phrases that pop up on my screen after I’ve posted a new entry which tell me how to increase my scope of notoriety (otherwise known as my reach).  One of which instructs me, the blogger, to make comments on the blogs of others.  Exposure is the way to increase my own stats.  So I tried it out and–“wham-O”–I took a hit.  Now I am pretty thick skinned for the most part.  I am confident in myself.  I know my strengths (what are those again? ;)), my not-so-strong points (cherry drops off a pull up bar NOT being one of them–I still rule the playground!), and my earnest intent to not harm another (though my humanity fails me in this regard much too often).  I also realize I will be the vinegar to anothers’ oil, and that is the way life goes sometimes.  So when I let a little commentary bother me to the point of reciting, in my head, varying ways of shutting down the misunderstanding–and by “shutting down” I am not thinking in terms of politeness, I get annoyed at my self.  Especially as I have jumped into this new world of blogging for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with building a large reading base.  And by succumbing to the temptation to be popular (sing it “Wicked”), I lose sight of my intent and purpose.  All of which reflects poorly on the face beautiful, and vanity is a true motivator (of course wanting to follow after righteousness and not my own self centered insecurities could be a player as well).

So now the challenge of redirecting the “head” committee by way of ushering out the tactical methods of the ‘thought police’.  Methodology:  Turn the pests into actors playing out a scene.  The effect:  I am rid the burden the former intruders befell me and left giddy from the new comedic performance.  Given a choice, I choose comedy every time.

Yay, mission accomplished!  My “About” page remains an honest tale of my blogging intent and I have averted the urge to scathe a fellow human being with the quick flick of the enter key.  Oh happy day…

Matthew 22:36-40

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

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