I have decided to consider the pestering thoughts in my mind to be a form of entertainment. As I sit here and listen to an excerpt from the opera, La Bohème, and type this posting, I am determined to convince myself of the former statement. The reason for my determination is that I am, presently, being needled in my psyche by an insensitive reply from a complete stranger, to a comment I made on another blog. And in full disclosure, the insensitive reply is not what is truly bothering me. It is the fact I am allowing the comment to bother me that actually is the bother! Thus in order to convince my feelings to not dwell in hurt, I am attempting to change the perspective of the committee within my head. The badgering, nagging thoughts that are doing their best to rob me of the joy of the moment (whatever the moment may be), all the while attempting to entice me into literary action by way of responding to the response.
There, I just switched from La Bohème to Carmen…a more fitting opera for the occasion and also the very first opera I was privileged to see. My father took me to see it when I was a little girl, and I still remember the sheer enjoyment of being pulled into the drama of the stage.
At any rate, the problem does not truly lie in the lap of the commentator. She, or he, does not know me and therefore does not have access to my heart, the foundations of my thoughts, nor the accompanying intonation of my voice. I carry the burden fully because I gave into the enticements of the blogging world. Enticements such as, little phrases that pop up on my screen after I’ve posted a new entry which tell me how to increase my scope of notoriety (otherwise known as my reach). One of which instructs me, the blogger, to make comments on the blogs of others. Exposure is the way to increase my own stats. So I tried it out and–“wham-O”–I took a hit. Now I am pretty thick skinned for the most part. I am confident in myself. I know my strengths (what are those again? ;)), my not-so-strong points (cherry drops off a pull up bar NOT being one of them–I still rule the playground!), and my earnest intent to not harm another (though my humanity fails me in this regard much too often). I also realize I will be the vinegar to anothers’ oil, and that is the way life goes sometimes. So when I let a little commentary bother me to the point of reciting, in my head, varying ways of shutting down the misunderstanding–and by “shutting down” I am not thinking in terms of politeness, I get annoyed at my self. Especially as I have jumped into this new world of blogging for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with building a large reading base. And by succumbing to the temptation to be popular (sing it “Wicked”), I lose sight of my intent and purpose. All of which reflects poorly on the face beautiful, and vanity is a true motivator (of course wanting to follow after righteousness and not my own self centered insecurities could be a player as well).
So now the challenge of redirecting the “head” committee by way of ushering out the tactical methods of the ‘thought police’. Methodology: Turn the pests into actors playing out a scene. The effect: I am rid the burden the former intruders befell me and left giddy from the new comedic performance. Given a choice, I choose comedy every time.
Yay, mission accomplished! My “About” page remains an honest tale of my blogging intent and I have averted the urge to scathe a fellow human being with the quick flick of the enter key. Oh happy day…
living in loss and gratitude 
The Noise